How do you deal with acute ” threats”? I don’t mean the global threats, by which we are all affected (pandemics, wars, climate crisis…..), but the “small” everyday threats that often enter our lives unexpectedly: bad news, changes in plans that hit you hard , demands or unjustified accusations, that you are confronted with and have to deal with. Privately and professionally , I have had a few opportunities to practise dealing with them.
For me, a three-step approach has proved successful: fact check, change room, enter into relationship. What’s it all about?
Fact check
When I am confronted with information that is threatening to me, my mind starts to go crazy. Imagination is a nice thing, but too much of it can be exhausting. My head imagines all kinds of scenarios as to why this or that happened, fantasises about possible reasons, causes, connections and motives. The most outlandish concepts and ideas arise in my mind as to what the issue, the problem, the bad news could be all about. What helps: the fact check. What do I know about the problem? Who can give me more information about the context and background? What about the subject is real, what is fantasy? I usually calm down by then….
Change room
When I’ m not sitting in my office working, but in another room, with a laptop in a café or in the park – then it could be, I might just have a tough nut to crack. It helps me if I can change the room, adopt a different perspective, I can switch from ” work mode” to ” problem-solving mode”. Walt Disney is said to have made a method out of this: there were different rooms for different tasks. The room for dreaming certainly looked different from the room for writing……
Utilise relationships
After the fact check and the room and change of perspective , I then exchange and the dialogue with people who are important to me, to whom I tell the problem and my (solution) ideas. The very fact that I have to explain and describe everything well and clearly , clarifies things for me again ….. If good questions are also asked – perfect! Einstein is said to have once said: ” A well-described problem is already half the solution.
In this way , I am increasingly able to, toregain peace of mind when everything around me is going crazy.
All three aspects play a central role in our coaching sessions (consciously or unconsciously). And that is why they are so valuable. I don’t leave myself”defenceless” to my problem, but review my basic assumptions, change the space (online or in person) and enter into an exchange, into a relationship with the coach. And so often we have experienced, how, in a relatively short time, a completely new perspective the problem or challenge becomes possible and ideas for solutions emerge. Your life can change through coaching. Sounds pathetic. But it is.
What helps you to cope well with such situations, problems and crises? We are very interested in your experiences and tips of all kinds! And if you ever need a coach (m/f/d) , you will find our contact details on this website.
Best regards, Thomas
